Survivor: Redemption Island WTF Matt? Really?! [Spoilers! but not new ones]

I already shared the fact that brave Christian Soldier Matt on Survivor has found his way back to Redemption Island, where he spent 15 days alone, winning 5 some odd challenges to stay there, again. But I felt it necessary to actually make a separate post from my usual recap to discuss just exactly how mind boggling and WTF inducing Matt's behavior was in this week's episode. Seriously. I have to get it out of my mind, I have no choice.

So, here's the deal, from the first episode the producers have been making it clear to the audience just how important Matt's faith is to him. Matt makes it clear how important his faith is to him. His sincerity is without question. I am more likely to believe it is Matt's faith in God that allowed him to do so well on Redemption Island, than that it has anything to actually do with any God that may or may not exist. His belief alone is apparently enough to give him the mental and physical strength to deal with what must be a pretty harsh experience. So after watching his story build this kind of destined, or blessed, narrative for 5 weeks, Matt is brought back to the main game when the tribes merge.

Now, the thing that's so frustrating is that Matt actually recognizes a very real advantage that he has. He was the second person in the entire game to be sent to Redemption Island. He knows what things were like in Ometepe, and he's had a steady stream of intelligence on Zapatera. He also knows that he was blind sided by Ometepe the first time. The episode's title "This game respects big moves" is something Matt actually said. The Holy Soldier is back, and due to timing, he has ALL the leverage. ALL of it.

Rob has Ometepe, with a head count of 6, mostly locked down, but Andrea was Matt's friend at the start of the game, and she's willing to work with him if he can actually come up with some kind of good plan. As he rambles about "pretending" to be loyal to Rob with the intent to blindside him in a few votes, the look of apprehension rightfully spreads all over Andrea's face. It seems Matt has two settings, he over thinks, or he doesn't think at all.

His conversation with Andrea was actually inspired when Mike of Zapatera came to him and discussed bringing him into their alliance, with an inside track to the final four. Mike would actually up his bid to the final three in an effort to get Matt to make up the one vote Ometepe had over Zapatera.

So Matt has an offer from a voting block of 5 to pick apart the people who sent him to Redemption Island, with the exception of his one friend on that tribe. He has a friend who seems prepared to follow his lead any which way, so long as he actually looks like he knows where he's going. He understands that big moves are how you win the game...

And then he goes to "confess" to Boston Rob. I don't know if Matt's catholic, or protestant (betting protestant of some sort) or what, but while guilt might be part of your religious experience, it's the last thing you want in your Survivor experience. Especially when you're interacting with somebody who is considered to be one of the all time greats of the game (who happens to be in the middle of an absolute tour de force of Survivor villainy this season, btw) Boston Rob, especially than, guilt is not going to help you. So Matt ultimately decides to FORGIVE Rob, confesses any thoughts he had at trying to unseat Rob, and thinks everything will be peachy keen going forward.

Even as the Jeff Probst leads the Survivors through this week's tribal council, it is obvious that Ometepe does not consider Matt part of their tribe. Matt should know better than to trust his luck with them. He points out that the relationship dynamic in the tribe has changed in the two weeks he's been gone. Yet despite all of this, all of this, he chooses to trust Rob. Andrea being smart enough to see a lost cause bailed on Matt in the end. Was it the smart play for Andrea? I think I can theorize a smarter one, which I might post later, but we'll see where her decision leads her. Seriously though Matt, What. The. Fuck. I hope God is with you out there on Redemption Island, you'll probably need him a lot to make it another two weeks out there.

Survivor: Redemption Island "This Game Respects Big Moves" [Spoilers!]

I know I know, I missed last week. Sorry. It wasn't that exciting. It wasn't boring either, but you know, Matt won the Redemption Island Challenge, Rob screwed around with idol clues that were worthless (he literally threw last week's into a volcano), Zapatera continued their nonsensical collapse, and ultimately the annoying hippie tribe mom Sarita got her torch snuffed. Oh, right, and we spent time dumping on poor Mr Saggybottoms. While the episode was entertaining, it also felt a lot like the last three episodes before it. Luckily this week, it's time to shake things up!

For starters, this is the week where the resident of Redemption Island returns to the main game. Having spent two weeks out there, Matt is the obvious favorite. But wait, it turns out, he cut his foot, and the Redemption Challenge will be putting a disproportionate amount of stress precisely where he cut his foot. It's almost as if the producers were afraid a straight challenge between Sarita and Matt wouldn't be exciting. Alas, God disagrees with the Producers, and Matt somehow prevails! Yay. There was a moment I was afraid I'd have to get another lecture about tribe harmony from the annoying hippie mom. Then the tribes merge, Matt gets to leave Redemption Island with them, and Probst tells everybody that the island is not closed, it is merely resetting.

So the first order of business for the now combined tribe is to come up with a name. As they set eating food that I guess was a reward just for still being on the show, Rob sells them on naming the tribe Murlonio. He tells the contestants it means "coming out of the ocean" or something, then gleefully tells the camera that is in fact utter bullshit. Murlonio is the name of fellow Survivor alum Amber's stuffed animal. Seriously. Rob has spent this entire game just laughing at everybody else, including Russel, on the island. It will be interesting to see if his utter dominance, and joyful treachery, can sway the jury, if he makes it to the final three. Though, if he continues orchestrating the other contestants as he has been, he seems like a lock for one of those coveted 3 spots.

There's also a brief, almost throw away exchange between Matt and Grant, where Matt asks Grant why he was voted out the first time. Grant answers honestly, saying Matt's relationship with Kristina is why he was voted out. Excepting the fact that it was Matt's relationship with Andrea that got him booted, Grant was honest. The important take away though is that the young women of Ometepe are apparently so interchangeable that Grant can't keep them separated in hi mind despite sharing a hut on the beach with them every night.

I must admit I'm perversely rooting for Matt despite my adversion to people who say things like "my purpose here is to honor God" on a reality tv show. Granted, by the time he decides to give his loyalties to Rob, again, I find myself thinking he's nothing but a poor substitute for Fabio. Of course, Rob saw Matt as a threat before, and he sees him as a threat again. It takes less than two minutes for Rob to get Grant, Natalie, Kristina, and Mr Saggybottoms on the "vote Matt out, again" bandwagon. As they head off to Tribal Council the question is, will Matt make the smart move and side with the former Zapatera members, or will he find himself being sent to Redemption Island, again, courtesy of a Boston Rob Blindside.

Well, watching it was of course edited to be high stakes, but the quickest answer is Matt was an idiot. Boston Rob gave him the boot, and the Holiest Survivor is on his way back to Redemption Island. He seems to do well on his own, spending his time in meditation. I'm not sure if he's got the brains to "outwit" anybody, but if he can outlast out there on his own, it could be one of the most interesting paths to Survivor victory anybody has ever taken. Next week, Mr Saggybottoms asks for a sign, and gets a feather headdress. I'm sure there will be plenty of lulz listening to him explain that as a part of the Bushido code.

Survivor: Redemption Island "Their Red Headed Stepchild" [Spoilers!]

Is God a Survivor fan? After this week's episode I cannot help but ask. (Sorry this one is late, but I've been a busy guy.) This week's episode starts on Redemption Island were Christian Soldier Matt continues to battle against the elements alone. When the latest contestant to be voted out of her tribe, Krista arrives, we suddenly find out that she shares Matt's devotion as they both rejoice over the delivery of her luxury item: a Bible. They pray together, have a close contest, and ultimately Matt wins his fourth consecutive Redemption trial. Thanks to her time bonding with Matt, Krista seems very peaceful as she walks off to the hotel she was surely sequestered in until the end of taping. Air conditioning, swimming pool, a Gideon's Bible...

Anyways, back at Ometepe, Phil, now to be referred to by the name Boston Rob gave him, "Mr Saggy Bottoms," (It's his pink briefs. Hopefully the future gives us more episodes like tonights, episodes in which he wears pans.) is in a snit because two of the girls in their tribe make every day beach day, or spa day, or salon day, or day where they do absolutely shit. He's not the only one noticing but he is the only one saying anything. The two in question are... Natalie... and... I don't care. Honestly the pair of them are interchangeable. In fact, most of the young women on this season of Survivor have been presented in a light that makes them seem like paper dolls in bikinis that fit worse and worse with every day. Only Andrea and Stephanie managed to distinguish themselves at all amongst the half dozen or so young women in this season.

The challenge this week grossly favored Ometepe. Zapetera tried to convince themselves that maybe they could have possibly pulled off a victory, but let's be honest, the "catching a ball in the air while running" thing was a lock for Graham, a former NFL player on Ometepe tribe. So while Ometepe had a picnic by a statue on a mountain Zapetera tried to decide if they favored loyalty in the form of Sarita, or "spunk" in the form of Stephanie.

At the picnic Rob continues to play his bizarre game with Grant involving the hidden immunity idol clues. Rob has the idol. Rob has told nobody has the idol. This is the second time Rob has tampered with Grant's access to the clues. Last time he actually switched the newest clue for a older less useful one only he found. Boston Rob's dominance of the Ometepe tribe and this game has to be one of the most impressive games of Survivor ever played. His victims believe they are co-conspirators, and the entire tribe sees only what he lets them.

Which brings us to this week's Tribal Council. Zapatera, suddenly on the slide is starting to regret their decision to throw that challenge to get rid of Russel. As the primary "council of 5" are unsure whom to vote for, the council was a talkative one. Ultimately though the majority favored a weak, but trustworthy team mate at the expense of a fiery, but potentially treacherous one. With Stephanie on her way to Redemption Island, Russel's alliance of three has now been entirely voted out of the tribe. Regardless of who wins, I think Rob has already proven which of them is the better player in this game. What awaits us next week? Does Rob land in hot water over something? Does Matt win a fifth challenge? Is God a Survivor fan? We'll see...

Survivor: Redemption Island "We Hate Our Tribe" SPOILERS!

Tonight's episode starts off, as usual with a dual on Redemption Island. This week former Ometepe members Matt and Kristina meet in a puzzle battle. While I was rooting for the shrewd Kristina (she found a hidden immunity idol without a clue) in the early running, her quest for a million dollars ended abruptly this week.

From there we shift to the Ometepe members who weren't on Redemption Island as contestants or observers. Mostly it was whining from the girls while Phillip tries to gain what little leverage he can try to. Boston Rob seems inclined to keeping Phil around if only because he seems to be driving everybody else crazy with his "pink panties."

We then cut to a montage of Krista and Stephanie, the newest little girls to somehow be suckered by the now departed Russel complaining about their tribe. This is ultimately foreshadowing as this week is the first week Ometepe manages to win immunity on their own.

After this we get some strange bizarre game where Boston Rob goes out of his way to make Grant think that they're co-conspirators for an immunity idol that Rob had already found. It is utterly pointless activity for Grant, but at least Rob, and maybe the audience get a kick out of it.

That levity however quickly fades as we cut to Zapatera's tribe inevitable meltdown under the pressure of tribal council. Remember that the only council Zapatera tribe has faced before is one they chose to go to in an effort to shed the tumor that is Russel. While the main council in Zapatera begins to crumble, we get another montage of Krista and Stephanie cut to make them both look as vapid and stupid as possible. It manages to do a pretty good job of that as they constantly harp that the rest of their tribe "is not playing the game" even though they obviously are.

Once we get to tribal council, in an apparent blaze of glory Krista manages to launch several attacks at what she considers the cracks in the Zapatera super alliance. The only question was whether or not those cracks would splinter in time to save her. They did not. Krista became the fifth member sent to Redemption Island where she will face off next week with Matt. If he wins again next week, I might be inclined to think his prayers work.

Also, I wanted to include some video clips, but CBS apparently does not like to share. Jerks.

Survivor: Redemption Island "Don't you work for me?" [Spoilers!]

CBS's newest season of Survivor had two "twists" to bring viewers back to this show now in its 22nd season. First, there is the "twist" that made its way into the title, Redemption Island. Instead of being eliminated after being voted out, contestants are sent to Redemption Island, where they will challenge the current occupant for the right to remain on RI instead of go home. At some point yet to be announced, the occupant of RI is to be returned to the regular game. I know, the possibilities are oh so tantalizing.

The second twist was the return of two of the show's greatest villains, Boston Rob and Russel. Neither man has actually won the game in the past, though both had proven their ability to make it into the deep game of Survivor. At least, they both did until last week. Russel, who's arrogance and abrasive attitude set him at odds with the vast majority of his tribe had been sent to Redemption Island last week. They were so anxious to get rid of him, they threw their own challenge.

As per usual this season, the episode opened with the challenge on Redemption Island before Golden Boy for Christ Matt, and skeezy skeezy Russel. The two had to create a line of dominoes that would push a ball to break a plate in order to stay. The challenge went back and forth, but ultimately Matt prevailed which resulted in one of the most gratifying things I've ever seen in reality television, Russel Hantz crying. Maybe that's why he decided to leak show details at the risk of legal action. (Okay, so he's accused of leaking details on his two previous seasons, all the same, he's slime.) Boo hoo Russell.

With that settled it's back to business as usual in the two tribes. Having succeeded in jettisoning Russel from the game, his former tribe, Zapetera went right back to their winning ways. At this rate, Boston Rob's control over the Ometepe will be utterly meaningless by the time the tribes merge. So while Zapetera enjoys some delicious hot dogs and veggies, Ometepe prepares for what will be their third tribal council.

Boston Rob's alliance is split in who they want removed. Some of the younger members are anxious to see the stranger and crazier Phillip go. Though, I'm sure the producers were looking at the footage as it came in and just praying somehow he could avoid being voted out. Personally, I can do without a montage of a middle aged black man spilling out of his saggy pink briefs. Meanwhile, Rob himself is worried about Kristina. You might remember that she found the first hidden immunity idol without the benefit of a clue. (Rob managed to find the new one in tonight's episode, with the help of a clue, some luck, and a lot of bullshitting.)
Ultimately, Ometepe voted Kristina out of the tribe, so she will be facing off against Matt next week on Redemption Island.

Man I really really loved watching Russel cry. That was too awesome. What did you think?